The Kid From Yesterday. The Thought Of Tomorrow.

         So, before we get into the meat and potatoes of this post, I wanted to admit something to you all. Since beginning this attempt to write my thoughts on the world wide web, I had to really think if putting myself out in the open was a smart idea. I mean, every letter that I press is a show of my penchant for free-will and against my inclination of buffers in social settings. I am making a case of my sole opinions and only hand my ideas over as a method to fuel the small flame within all of us, if any. My hesitations laid with the thought of the worlds predispositions of stereotypes or mainstream ways of thinking. What if I say the wrong thing, or forget to censor my thoughts and it's taken the wrong way. I mean, we are so quick to judge one another, like the single mother in her late teens, or a person that enjoys a hit from time to time, or even the beautiful girl that is sitting across from you at the coffee shop. It's the way we are brought up. In fact, in psychology, stereotypes are the way we generalize groups of people to prepare ourselves in case we find ourselves in similar situations from the past. Still, I think that taking time to write these thoughts, make them real and creates some kind of purpose to it all, rather than just an opinion I am throwing at you, it's a seed that is planted, whether you water it or let if dry up is up to you. Now, on to the yummy stuff!

The Past. 

(I will explain the photo at the end)

          Such a statement, such a testament to our finite existence, such a predictor of what lies ahead of us, or is it? What is it about our pasts that plagues our futures. We are so defined from yesterday that we forget what today really means. Think of it like your trying to save money. If you splurge and max out your credit cards, then you will spend all of your income trying to pay off your debts. Leaving no excess income to enjoy today or life tomorrow. Unless you dedicate yourself, you will never get out of debt neglecting you from achieving what you really want. Or think of it as if you go hard at the gym then go home to eat pizza, what have your really gained but soreness, heartburn, and a waste of time? The point that I am making is that, if you don't focus on the results of today, then tomorrows finished product will never be. If we keep focusing on yesterdays results, then you lose focus of what you can do today and how it will effect you tomorrow. 

           We all come from different walks of life. Even some of your closest family members have completely different views from one another. Our minds are just as unique as the stars in the sky, although many, no two are the same. Yet, we forget what brought us here. What have I learned from the struggles that I have lived through? I like to think of 3 distinct movies, which I must admit, I will never get tired of watching. Gladiator, Braveheart, and Lord of the Rings. All of these characters were defined by something in their past, we see the development of their passions, hardships, and struggles to never give up but what happens after such a journey? Unfortunately, in all three movies, the main characters die, but in real life, these struggles and journeys happen much more often than we think. 

          So does that mean that after all of our life struggles, we die a little inside? Do we define ourselves by all the hardships that we have gone through? Or do we realize that our pasts are just what we leave behind? Or that in reality, what we decide our futures will be, is what truly defines us today. Whether you want to become a doctor, or lose that 20 pounds, or just make enough cash to buy your special someone that one gift that warrants a smile so big, you get lost in the beauty of their bliss. Whatever the reason, our past shouldn't define us, it should remind us of our future, and what goal we've set for ourselves. So looking back at the photo at the top of this post, I don't see the hardships that I went through or the bad decisions that surrounded my life in the years to come after that photo, I just see that moment, and how I had no idea what the future held, only that I looked forward to going to school every day after that first day. Granted I was young and had no worries in the world, but again, that thought is a product of the hardships in my past up to this point, not what I truly felt about my future from the moment in the photo, understand? 

Food For Thought: Expand Your Mental Pallet.

We all have ambitions in life, things that we hoped to become, I remember I wanted to be an astronaut growing up, but we all have the roads we took instead. Yet, I can't help to wonder if that road was really the right one and I'm just stuck on the detour. Is it still even visible if I looked for it or has it been lost in the fog of my memories? We all know that life isn't predetermined, we are all just animals trying to make sense of it all, but since we are here, shouldn't we make something of a point as to why we are here? I get tired of hearing, "It's never too late" because if someone is telling you that, then it means that your taking to long to make it happen. Find out what your true ambitions are and go after them before next time you hear the, "it's not too late" speech. Fin.

A Mothers Touch

           Take a look outside your window. Whether your at work, cruising in a passenger seat, or enjoying the morning chill on your porch (like me). Use that moment to appreciate what you are seeing, in my case, children playing tag (or something of the sort) and throwing leaves at one another. Seeing the lake glisen in the distance while two people are laying back and enjoying its beauty. Even if it's just the trees that you pass by every single day. Imagine if they weren't there, or of all the things they've seen, or how they got there to begin with. Granted, our busy lives don't always let us take time to enjoy the moment and that always leaves us on the hunt to purchase artificial happiness, think about your last vacation, how did your bank account feel? There is beauty in taking the time to admire something, especially if you never noticed it, or you never took time to appreciate it. In my case, I appreciate this person for what they do for me everyday of my life, but I am ashamed to say I forget to appreciate her for who she is.

Mom

         She's been there since the beginning and everyday in between. From the days I needed to heal my broken heart to the days I passed my finish lines, she was there. She has been through some tough times and always gives all of herself for her family, no questions asked. The story of my leading lady started in El Hospital de Bellavista en Callao, Peru where she was brought into this world by my Mamita Raquel. The only girl amongst 7 brothers she learned quickly how to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. All of which was apparent since the day I met her in St. Mary's hospital in Passaic, NJ back in '89. I was a chip off the old block like my brothers before and after me and with my fathers looks and my mothers smarts, they decided to call me Kenneth, and the rest his history (and future).

        My mother has always been very protective of her four cubs, as should any momma bear with 4 reckless animals. She always taught me how to treat a women and how important it is to find someone who loves instead of lusts. Never hesitating to compare my life decisions as a consenting adult to "you don't even know how to wipe your own butt properly, but you want to ..." (haha). Heck, up until a few years back she would argue with me about staying in the exam room during my yearly routine physical. The convo would go as such:

             Doc: Alright, you will need to take your pants off for this physical.

             Me: Mom, can you please wait outside?

             Momma: For what? Like I don't know whats there? I use to change your diapers, remember!?

          She was always very tough, showing us discipline when needed but never forgetting to let us know she will always be here for us. She would console us when we were hurt but remind us to be men when we weren't being tough enough. She overreacts over the simplest things and worries about us just as much when it comes to the big things. She unknowingly embarrasses us with our childhood stories, and inspires us with hers. She doesn't like to party much, but has a ton of little dances when she gets excited followed by her trademark response "Cooley!" (haha)

          Growing up, she would always talk about her beloved Peru. Like the story of how she met my father, or the first time she ever got in a fight, or even the time one of my uncle's used a toy doll as a urinal (haha, I won't say who momma). I remember the birthday's she would spend a week decorating for or how no matter where my parents would go, parties, vacations, or long drives, we would always go as a family. All of these great memories mixed into the realities of the life that I never really saw as a child. My parents came to this country with nothing but the support of their family. I remember my mother working doubles or triples just to come home and cook us a real dinner. The days her cancer got the worst of her and she would still find time to be an amazing mother. Even the days that money was tight and how I didn't understand the concept of "I can't buy that today, next time."

             All these memories came across my mind while sitting on my porch this morning. I've seen my mother cry tears of despair, and shed tears of joy just as much. She is the glue that keeps my family together, and even with her sometime's annoying requests to take a million photos of all my brothers hugging or how she gets irate because I won't kiss my father's forehead when I say goodbye, I don't think my family would have been the same without her motherly kwirk. My father has always been hard on us, but my mother is harder. Not because she's misguided but because she is our strength. In my darkest times, I look to her for guidance. In my biggest decisions, I look to her for honesty. And in the search of a family of my own, I will look to her as my role model. Mother, today is your birthday and even though I live 600 miles away, I will wake up, wish you a happy birthday, and tell you that I love you. Thank you for being the woman that you are, this is dedicated to you.

Love,

Huevi

Food For Thought: Expand Your Mental Pallet.

This one is simple readers. Take today to appreciate who you are and those around you. Really look at something and take a moment to understand it. Sit next to someone you've never met before and ask them about who they are, really ask. Grab someone you know and take time to look into their soul. Don't get lost in false realities or hype. Look for the real.